Parity Recap 6: Ominous Portents

Submitted by Christopher Keates on Fri, 2017-12-15 14:27

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6 is a special number in Parity this year. Reminder: it is the record setting lowest ever score (kudos to Jessie and crew). #NeverForget. 
 
Perhaps 6 is the number of Parity? Or Parody? Should we revere (or fear) 6 as ominous portent of things to come, much as we find horror in 666? Perhaps good things come in sixes? And if 6 is the number of Parity and Parody, what is the mark of Parity and Parody?
 
Perhaps a deeper look at the week that was (and in at least one case of major mea culpa, a week that was several weeks ago...) will reveal some clues to these very serious questions that are not at all contrived into a forced weekly theme, which is my schtick.
 
A Lightpost Named Desire: First, the mea culpa. We had another successful navigation of a light post with a throw this season, and I completely forgot to mention it. It is possibly even a better story than previous attempts (successful or otherwise). 
 
In a moment of desperation and trapped on a sideline, Laura Storey heaved a mighty backhand! It wasn't exactly flat or straight, by which I mean it was mostly thrown up and blade-y (somehow). My understanding is her extension had her throw it up around the back of the elevated portion of the light post, at which point it knifed back down into the field of play. Awaiting her pass, her bae Mikey Davidson. Catch! Point! This is the second time a throw like this has been completed, and both for points. This one is also very romantic. <3
 
Seasonal Poetry: On the 6th week of Parity our Laura gave to us: 10 perfect verses.
 
The Mark of the Beast is Probably Esq.: In a particularly heated bit of drama this week, Brian Perry's easy smile and rugged good looks got him into a bit of trouble. He's everyone's favorite frisbee bachelor, and he subs all the time. Jessie found this frustrating, and it led to a bit o' drama on the forums and in the back rooms of the Parity GM offices. 
 
After some discussion, the GM's consulted Parity's greatest legal mind not directly involved in the conflict. Mehmet's careful study of Parity Criminal Code, Part I, Chapter 43, § 915, pursuant to Parity volume 62 statute 743, player substitutes must be at least as dashing as Brian Perry to be legal substitutes. The GM's agreed that this was a reasonable approach to subs in the future.
 
All of this drama culminated in someone giving Brian Perry an actual rose this week at the dome. That person was Jessie.
 
Callahan Watch: What a good matchup this week. Hannah Dawson and Alisha Zhao went head to head, and boy was it exciting to watch these two ladies duke it out. In the course of the game, Alisha's crushing defense managed to generate a number of shots at a Callahan, 1 of which she converted. Both ladies had phenomenal games, and really dialed it up to 11. I think we have to give the win to Alisha though. 4/1/3/4 and but 1 throw away for $137,000, versus 1/1/1/3 and 2 for $99,500.
 
Wherein I Am Bad at Rules: In the late-late game this week, my team was up late in the game and last point was called. I started the point with the disk, and my cutters set up our stack. Play starts, and my cutters cut! Except, they were covererd very well by a bunch of swashbuckling pirates, and I didn't see a throw I could make. Stall 9 approached, so I heaved a desperate throw for field position! Marcus did was Marcus does and covered the long ball very well, getting a firm D on the disk. 
 
However, the disk floated directly to Giulian who caught it in the endzone. In a moment of sheer joy, he threw the disk in the air, a classic spike! However, the rules of the league stipulate no goals on first passes. Turnover!
 
But wait! Marcus tipped the disk! "That's a goal! The defender tipped it to him!" I yelled. So of course, play stopped and we had to debate what happened. The debate took us past time cap, so we stopped the game and ended up leaving it as goal, BUT. I was very, very wrong. Giulian, that was a first pass goal, which doesn't count. It's in the stats, but I will always remember your seasonal total being 1 less than it is for both your goals and my assists. Sorry buddy.
 
Classic Parity.
 
Layout!: I saw a few pretty great layouts this week. Hadrian had a sweet layout D on a goal line stand. Kelsey had a trailing backside hammer catch on a bid for a point, it was absolutely ridiculous.
 
Cursed: Laura Storey shows up again in the narrative of the week. Rumor has it she had a frustrating game. On a particularly good cut (she's pretty awesome) under she saw someone in her lane that wasn't moving and may have loudly sworn at them on the field. In the heat of the moment in a tight game, she lashed out at a team mate. I assume they talked it out and hugged afterwards.
 
STATS
 
Good Things Come In Sixes: Notable sixes this week include 6 assists (Jon Rowe, Nick Theriault, Christopher Keates). Sully went two too far with 8. Hope, Jay Thor, Katie A, and Klimowicz had 6 catches. Giulian, Jonny Champage, Nick Amlin, Wowzers and Will Reid had 6 completions!
 
So Do Bad Things: Higgins and Mikey had 6 throw aways. Thankfully nobody had 6 drops or thrown drops (that would be absurd).
 
Berry Watch: Scott Higgins got a Berry! Tim Kealey should have scored a goal and gotten himself a Berry too (a great week with 0/2/5/1).
 
NOTABLE PERFORMANCES
 
  • Sully had a 1/8/1/1 week and over 40 completions.
  • Jon Rowe put up 1/6/2/5 (and was a drop away from the coveted Berry).
  • Josee's 3/5/2/2 was dominant.
  • Mehmet had probably his best performance of the season with 1/5/4/1 and under 5 throw aways (!!!).
  • 2 players had 3/3/3/*, Heather Wallace and Marcus Bordage.
  • Rob Tyson doubled his goals for the season, notching 2 in the same game.
  • Jay Thor Turner's first game was a remarkable 1/1/1/1 performance.
  • Celine Dumais put up 3/0/1/0, a good week!
  • Ben Curran flirted with a Berry. He needed an assist and a D. Otherwise a productive week, finding the endzone 3 times.
  • Tom Sattolo scored 5 goals on 8 receptions! That's efficiency!
  • Jonny Champagne got into the groove with 3/1/1/1 and but 1 turnover in his second game of the year.
  • Giulian had 4* goals and zero turnovers.
  • Neena had 3/1/1/1 and zero turnovers.
  • Greg Probe had a game going 1/2/4/1 although the 5 throw aways was perhaps not his usual production....
  • Wowzers crushed it with 3/0/5/1!
  • Verbs was nearly perfect at 0/3/2/2 and only 1 throwaway.
  • Allan Godding played a game, put up 100k. He then subbed for a game, and put up 103k. Consistent....
 
Thanks as always to contributers who write me funny things that happen. Big ups to the volunteers (go volunteer to stats keep, people) who are awesome as always. Email me your stories at the email in my Zuluru profile.
 
* 3

Alex Bush

Fri, 2017-12-15 14:45

How was Jay Thor able to get off the bench to register any stats? I'm registering my disapproval.

#BenchJTT

Christopher Keates

Fri, 2017-12-15 15:06

I have traded for Jay Thor just so I can bench Jay Thor. Jay Thor, in the fantasy fantasy frisbee league, you are officially benched!

Alex Bush

Fri, 2017-12-15 15:16

#BenchJTT

Jay Thor Turner

Fri, 2017-12-15 17:03

Al was confused due to his leg injury which cut off circulation to his brain and he made a bad choice calling me off the bench. I expect to be benched next week until the team's salary gets too high then he will deploy the orange salary anchor and I'll get some reps. Prepare for the pylon.

Mehmet Karman

Fri, 2017-12-15 15:56


It's important to note several factors:

  • Post scoring mayhem Giulian spiked the disc - in the joyful "I just won the tournament" air spike method, which I'm a fan of, as opposed to the "this disc insulted my family, and now gets the people's elbow" harsh spike - also in his repertoire.
  • The scorekeepers (I was one) allowed the goal, in part due to it not affecting the result of the game.
  • A sideline heckler suggested Marcus is now "Borage", note lack of "d", which seems harsh as he did most of the job.
  • I'm amazed an extended rules debate on "first pass" didn't break out on OF, with varying interpretations of "throw", "pass", and an argument on whether Marcus intentionally dropped the disc.

Christopher Keates

Fri, 2017-12-15 16:08

Results were as follows:

> A point cannot be scored on the first pass after a point has just been scored (i.e. endzone to endzone).

This is the OCUA wording of the rule.

> II.B: Completed pass: Any catch that results in the team in possession of the disc retaining possession. Any pass that is not complete is incomplete.

This is the 11th edition definition of a completed pass.

We concluded I was bad and wrong (fact), but also that this is a very Parity moment and it should live on forever. Thus, I believe a new addition to the Parity Lexicon should be added. A Giulian: a catch and spike on the first pass resulting in a turnover.

Alessandro Cola...

Fri, 2017-12-15 16:09

I can only assume there was less debate on the forum because we all figure if Keates is on one side of an argument, most will fall on the other side.

:-j

Hadrian Mertins-Kirkwood's picture

Hadrian Mertins...

Mon, 2017-12-18 11:11

...is the best name for that spike I've ever heard.