Brace yourselves...

Weak.

I made a graph yesterday of those players who played both years of parity and their change in point production from 2015 to 2016. 

Here it is: http://imgur.com/SnRIJN7

Wait...when is the registration for Parity?

Parity rosters are up. Let the slagging begin. 

know that Parity salaries are ficticious? 

I had a lot of fun playing with statistics for teams. Over the past two years of Parity we've had 146 different players. Using that Data, I did a regression analysis to assign a value to each player using the past years of Parity Data. I then summed the value for each player on a team and to give a value to each team. If you only played in 2014-2015 I took that value and multiplied it by 0.7 (since most players had a 70% drop between 2015 and 2016). If you never played, I assigned you the average of your gender (unless you name was Mike Lee, in which case I gave you a 7).

Any other methodology questions I can answer, but here's what I got!

(The number in brackets is the average number of goals that this team would score)

Team A - Kells (23.58): The A suggests Kells had first overall pick, and what a pick! Mike Lee, AUDL all-star and scoring leader runner up. Team A has the second highest pre-season score!

Team B - Lamos (23.14): Amos probably picked second, choosing HMK (who I gave a score of 5, probably worth more? who knows!) Amos and Geofford on the same team means that whoever plays them first (me) will likely get the chirp-lashing of the season! Better bring some ointment for those burns folks. 

Basket of Deplorables - Owen (23.27): Last year's MDP (Most deplorable person) Owen is now captaining a team. Third overall pick choosing Shiggins works out well for those on his team who like McDonald's. Other notable facts: Both league Steves are on this team.

Team D - Proulx (23.08): Someone decided that Sina should GM anymore so Proulx took over and drafted him fourth overall. Will she have the same managerial style? Who knows, but they do have the same managerial stature. (I'm saying they are both short). 

Team E - Jamie Wildgen (23.20): Work-horse and perennial young man, Jamie W drafted 5th and took Fred Caron with his first round pick (who, let's face it, is just a younger version of Jamie). Last year this dream team, this dynamic duo if you will, won parity league last year and are looking for a repeat!

Team F - Rob (23.27): With the sixth pick you know that Rob chose League ED Christopher Castonguay. Having an in with OCUA is sure to work in Rob's favour as he gets 12 straight 7 pm games. Is it favourtism or is it random chance? We'll never know! (Hint: the odds of it being random chance are 1 in 20736).

Team G - Jaime Boss (20.38): Jaime definitely drafted some of the strongest women in the league, taking last year's assist leader Jessie Robinson (but not her #1 target - me) and woman-stud Megan Robb. Will these girls be able to carry the team on their backs, not unlike Greg Jennings with a broken leg? Who knows!

Katy Parity - Kindha (23.63): Kindha's team has the most returning parity players with only Rachel So as the Pure Parity Virgin. Kindha had the last pick in the first round, so she obviously chose... her husband, Al Colantonio! No longer will Kindha's disappointment be on another team. Now she has to see him weekly at frisbee! Kindha, why would you do this to yourself?

A: Helter-Kellster

First glance:

Pretty clear draft strategy here.  Use your 1st overall pick on an uncoverable male superstar and then sell the farm on tall, fast women to dominate downfield.  On paper this should work.  No other team can shut down all four of these ladies point after point.

What will probably happen:

Uncatchable lasers, bullets and blades!  Hucks and hammers out the back!  Spectacular D's to regain posession, then more lasers!  I'm putting the over-under on hand related injury subs per game at 2.5


B: Subsequent-Lee*

First glance:

The rest of the GM's should be ashamed at themselves for letting this happen.  There's a really strong mix of athelticism and disc-skills here that will be hard to slow down.  I'm notching this team as the pre-season favourite.

What will probably happen:

Berating each other.  Then shouting.  Lots of shouting.

Susceptibility to sideline heckles and barbs: 8/10.


Basket of Deplorables:

4/10 on the team name.  I preferred Belltown Flat-bread Company.  Not too late to change.

First glance:

There's a lot of hard-cutters here to contend with.  If you don't like being run around on D I'd suggest staying home.  There's also a disturbing amount of positivity on this team.  Getting these guys to implode may be difficult.

What will probably happen:

Lots of bad decisions from the usual suspects.  You know who you are.  Lots of crowd pleasing layouts.  This team will have the smallest absolute +/- in the league and the most ties.


D: Needs Improulxvment

First glance:

As Bush touched on, Andrea has created this team in her own image.  Short.  Seriously, who is going to cover Martin Cloake?  At least Angela is tall.  Maybe she can cover Martin.  I expect a lot of scurrying and maybe some tunneling to make up our O-set.

What will probably happen:

Everyone runs in all the directions.  Throws to cuts that no-one made.  Stern talking-to's.


E: Take me Wildgently

First glance:

This team could have a scary deep game, especially if they're all on the same page.  I think Jamie is the right leader to make that happen.  They've also go a lot of depth and could win by big margins if they get everyone involved.

What will probably happen:

All those things I said don't happen at all.  Fred goes mad with power and starts unloading power blades.  Wide open Mel, Stacy, Train and JeffHunt roll their eyes.


F: Ivesory Tower

First glance:

Not enough disc to go around for these guys.  Don't bother covering the mid-field against this team, the ball is headed for the goal.

What will probably happen:

I see Ariel juking in the lane.  Martin running in a circle directly behind Ariel.  Burton screaming "MOVE M*%$$#$#@ers" from the offhandler position.  Donahue standing impassively in the middle of the endzone.  Justine hammering it diagonally across the field over all of them to Hope who is inexplicably wide open, for a score.


G: Ghost-Bossters

First glance:

Another obvious strategy.  Initiate to a gun-slinging lady cutter who blasts the disc to the juggernaut in the endzone.  Rinse and repeat.  Everyone else can gather around and listen to Mussell or Jay-Thor tell stories about goats and boats.

What will probably happen:

That strategy won't work forever and there's only so many strange things you can do with goats and boats.  The fall back is unstoppable lefty breaks for easy flow.  Pindur runs into someone.


Katy Parity

Owen, take notes.  This is a good team name

First glance:

Once you get past the Gormantonio dynamic you notice that this team is stacked with throwers.  Definitely back the cutters against this crew because they won't hesitate to send it deep.  I'd love to see a Gee-Kelly dynamic emerge.

What will probably happen:

Family drama.  Seb tries to stage a coup and rename the team Game of Throws.  Bush leads the league in stall 9-turnovers because his cutter didn't plant just right so he refused to make the throw.
 

*As I was writing this Amos changed the name of his team but I think it's dumb so I'm leaving the one I made up.

Kindha is going with her strategy from last year. Draft whoever-the-hell-I-want-to play-with and let the trades sort out the whole overrated parity of play thang later.  She gets to commute and play with her hubby (the pre-and post-banter in the car must be worth the registration fee alone) and play with her brother-in-law too! Plus, friends who are good at frisbee.

Kindha for the sly win. 

Who says we didn't all draft that way, Justine? I needed Geofford closer to me so I could more frequently hear how terrible I am at everything. And Hadrian was a pick made for my ladies because his face is so pretty (you're welcome, ladies... but it was also a selfish pick). I have my commute picks via Aleks and Maya. And I love playing with Kevin Barford whom I have yet to meet. So obviously... I drafted similarly.

Morgan: I love how your analysis boils down to "THEY'RE GONNA HUCK IT... and if that fails, RANDOM THINGS..." in roughly 78.252356% of your predictions. (stat provided care of Al because I'm sure he can't math) And while I won't necessarily tout that my current team name has strength to it... you definitely missed the opportunity with "Aimlessly" ... it's how I throw... because namesake. 

Why does my team name sound like the title of an Armenian bootleg copy of Dispicable Me?

No worries Proulx!!  The 2nd half of Winter Comp 2014-2015 season had the shortest team come out on top undefeated.  I'm sure this is will be no different.

Also wild rosters all around.  This makes for a great upcoming parity season!!  

I think Rob Ives has done a great job with his draft overall.  Props.