Keeping Parity Great - Week 6 Retrospective

Submitted by Christopher Keates on Wed, 2017-03-22 14:05

Forums:

My un-inspiring title is largely un-motivated by the un-inspiring and un-motivating play of some of you parity people. Did you know that there are people in the league who don't even have a drop yet? What the hell are you people doing?! I refuse to acknowledge your utterly uninspired participation in parity and parody by naming you, but I am 100% sure you all know who you are.
 
But do you know who I will talk about? The lumleysexuals and their game against Nautical Disaster.
 
Bakers In Training: I can only assume that the cake of sadness baked last week was inspiration for the lumleys and the seamen and women of the 10:00 pm time slot. This week, in a point that spanned almost 15% of the entire game slot, magic happened.
 
It started at 10:27:59. At 10:33:53 there looked to be a time out called (or some other stoppage) right around turnover number 12. At 10:36:09 when the cake of sadness continued, one more turnover happened before finally scoring at 10:36:57. 13 turnovers, in a total time of ~9 minutes. In this point, Michael O'Hare, an otherwise great player, threw it away five times. Michael O'Hare, you almost single handedly made this point amazing, and I really think this is the sort of achievement you should put on your resume.
 
I reached Owen for comment on this point, and he only had this to say:
It was awful to watch.
I didn't reach out to Proulx, because I assume she was holding her head in her hands the entire point and couldn't bring herself to watch.
 
Cap Shenanigans: It looks like we have more proof of GMs gaming the system to try and circumvent parity! I'm sure crooked Proulx will deny the allegation, as all GMs have in the past, but this is the sort of smoking gun the league really needs to act on. Lock her up! Lock her up!
 
Playing With Knives: Alessandro Colantonio reminded us that sometimes he's the worst Al for the best reasons! This week he threw the most parity throw, the 90 degree, perfectly vertical blade. The only problem was he threw it more at his brother (years of habit having played with him since they were but wee lads) instead of the receiver behind him (or, say, his wide open bail). Michael Colantonio promptly tipped it for an easy D by hardly moving his arm.
 
Alex Bush Lifetime Achievement Award: In a Parity league second, Morgan called a timeout when he didn't have a timeout. This is the first time this has happened since Bush did it twice in one season and then once the next. Since Bush moved away, it's nice to see Morgan picking up the slack!
 
No Way, Josee!: Apparently everyone in the 8:20 game tried to maim or murder Josee Guibord! She's a lovely woman, why can't everyone be Barford from week 5, politely recognizing when attacking the disk is just inviting injury? Hugs not bombs, parity people.
 
ON THE VALUE OF HITTING YOUR TARGET
 
Sometimes, like Bush, I like to go on tangents. Today's tangent: thrown drops! If you hit your target in the hands, and if that target has a reasonable play on it (can catch it even if difficult, can keep it in bounds), it's generally a thrown drop. A lot of people view it as punishment for a good throw and a bad catch, but I like to think "maybe throw it so it's more easy to catch." Shared responsibility is real, and frankly we all need to take ownership of the disks that leave our hands!
 
It's interesting to look at this number, because depending on how you view the stat it could be argued that people who throw a lot of thrown drops are good at letting their receivers make plays/are putting teammates in positions to succeed. The disk is catchable, but something goes wrong.
 
Some people throw it away recklessly and aren't even close to the mark (Burton with 17 throw aways and only 1 thrown drop might be the starkest contrast here), and others are consistently on target (Craig Anderson: 11/10, Geofford Seaborn: 11/8, both remarkable numbers given how often they touch it). Jessie Robinson is a relatively prolific 17 assists with 14 throwaways but 8 drops credited to her receivers. I think it likely if her receivers (read: me) had better hands she'd have more assists and have fewer turnovers partially credited to her.
 
If you look at the people with the most assists, the most throw aways, and the highest ratios of thrown drops to throw aways, you'll typically see people that drive play but also take chances. Scoring in frisbee is the reward for taking risks, sometimes. Of course, this is great in Parity, where throwing it away (and living on in infamy forever on these forums) is the reward for taking risks!
 
LOWLIGHTS
 
Pew Pew Pew!: Leading the week for throw-aways, Michael O'Hare, with 8 (you really should have skipped that one point). Sina comes in second with 7, but admittedly I am counting his game as a substitute. Hadrian was next up with 5, and a bunch of others cluster around 4 (Geofford is normally not on this list but he is this week, as are Justine, Owen 2.0, and Proulx). This is the sort of commitment to parity that keeps this league great! Hats off to all of you.
 
Michael O'Hare got himself on the leaderboard with this week's performance, but the king (Sina) still stands alone. It's a one (kind of short) horse race this session.
 
Catching Is Hard: It's a surprising leaderboard for drops this week. You don't expect to see Laura Knowles, Kevin Barford, or Megan Robb at the top of the leaderboard. Sonny Kim is also sure handed, but he had 2 this week. 
 
A special shotout to Matthew "Skynes" Schijns who had 2 on a remarkably off week (also 4 throw aways, only 1 D, not a lot of production). You need to get back to your mostly useful self!
 
Bisang is now tied with Rachel Young at 7, and Pindur is close behind at 6. There's a cluster of people with 4 and 5. One off game can easily bump you to the top of the leaderboard, because this race is tight.
 
HIGHLIGHTS 
 
Goaaaaaaaaaaal!: Benjamin Piper leads the league in goals this week but is kind of a cheater because he needed 2 games to do it. Noteworthy performances in the G column: the world's tallest human with 6, Ashlin and Knowles with 5, Jon Rowe with a standout game and 5, Craig Anderson the assist machine with 4 (more G than A for once), Tyler Mulcock and Michael Colantonio both with 4 for Soho, matched by their opponents Simon Berry and Jason Fraser also with 4.
 
Leading the league is obviously still Ashlin. Ashlin, you are so dreamy.
 
Dimes: Sina has 12 over 2 games! I am not allowed to talk about myself positively in these posts so I won't, but I can allude to having done something okay! Chris Tran dropped 8 dimes, or 1 every 3 passes, which is remarkable (6 more passes and you would have had a dollar, Dr. Tran). Sebastien Belanger had 5, which actually bumped him onto the assist leaderboard. A trio of ladies had a trio of assists: Jessie, Angela, and Darlene!
 
The leaderboard is still led by Sina or Justine (if you cound their sub games). Can someone let me sub, so I can make up some ground?
 
Defense: Every week someone puts up some silly number of Ds and I always wonder why the hell anyone throws around them. Hadrian and Fred are both great defenders and both had 4. Do you handlers not know any better? Graham had 3, but handlers should also know better there (he dives a lot). Martin Cloake is the talest man in the world and had 3. Stop throwing at the tallest man (because he got three Ds which is a triple double)! The Best Lee had 4 over 2 games, which is nice to see, because she's great. Maya, Megan Robb, D leaderboard regulars, also put up 2.
 
SPECIAL PERFORMANCES
  • Alisha Zhao had a 4/4/4/1 statline which would have been better if she had gone 4/4/4/4. Try harder on D.
  • Tom Newman had a 3/3/3/0 statline which would have been better if he had gone 3/3/3/3. Try harder on D.
  • Angela Mueller had 2/3/3/0 on almost 30 touches.
  • Rachel Young had 3/2/2/0 on over 35 touches.
  • Pindur quietly had a 1/2/3/2 game which is pretty good.
  • Nicholas Aghajanian was 2/0/1/0 with 3 throw aways and 2 thrown drops, which deserves a special shoutout because cap manipulation is real, people!
  • Edwin has a bunch of 1's in his statline. 1/1/1/1! He also did nothing bad, which is good! But bad for parody.
  • Alessandro Colonnier wins best Alessandro this week, with 1/2/1/1 and no mistakes, to Al's 0/1/3/0 and inumerous mistakes (actually only 5).
  • Julia Laforge had a good week with 2/1/3/0.
  • Steve Chow quietly put in a 4/3/1/1 week.
 
Special thanks to long time listener, first time caller Jon Rowe for the experiments in baking from the late game. Al Colantonio also helped out, as did Morgan. The rest of you haters get boos and hisses.

Jon Rowe

Wed, 2017-03-22 15:02

13 Turnovers!  *Shame*  *Shame*  *Shame*

As both GMs were worried about inflating salaries going into trades week, the good (bad? sad?) news is that half of their teams took that note to heart for this point alone.

Christopher Keates

Wed, 2017-03-22 15:02

Every timeout leading to a turnover has involved Kindha. She was on Bush's team season 1 when he did it twice, GM of Bush's team season 2 when he did it once, and GM of Morgan in this season when he did it.

Kindha, is "call a timeout when we don't have one," a secret strategy you try and coach into your players and teammates? It's not a good one.

Justine Price

Wed, 2017-03-22 15:32

Stats when subbing don't count, unless they can be attributed to the person you are subbing for. Except the bad things. No. Wait. Don't attribute, bad idea. Sub stats shouldn't count towards anything but glory or dismay and providing fodder for a forum or a  podcast or a central limit theorem*.

*Should not be used in central limit theorem, I just wanted to drop that into conversation, the same way I am known to do with algebra.

Alessandro Cola...

Wed, 2017-03-22 15:39

I agree they shouldn't count for leaderboards. They are helpful in pointing out how many PEDs Sina was taking this past Monday.

Kevin Hughes's picture

Kevin Hughes

Fri, 2017-03-24 17:04

This is correct - your subbing stats are associated to a different player. Its the players name followed by a (S)

Chris Tran

Wed, 2017-03-22 20:13

Keates you made $1.00 at a rate of 2 dimes per 5 throws.

I think you are allowed to toot your own horn once in a while.

It is your horn after all!

Christopher Keates

Thu, 2017-03-23 08:45

I will cop to the humble brag of making everyone go look that up (if they wanted).

Amos Lee

Thu, 2017-03-23 09:26

Trouble in paradise between two Lees! In a close play that ended with Sam and Kindha tangled on the sidelines checking each other for injuries, Mike rushed over to kiss Sam's wounds better but was denied! Sam promptly ran to the only place she knew was safe from Mike... on the field.

Brent Burton

Thu, 2017-03-23 11:25

17/1 is actually super helpful. I'm pretty sure I know where at least an unlucky number of 13 of those went to. Sadly, I'm no Jessie :-( These stats seem to suggest that Jessie is no Jessie either.