Let it be known

nobody has achieved the Full Berry that includes all stat categories (2nd-5th assists, Callahan, Pull).  Hadrian, Al and I missed it by only the Callahan in weeks 1, 9, 7.  But this week it was so much closer as Higgins only missed by a drop, and I only missed by the pull.

As discussed here an S. Berry (henceforth, Berry) is a metric unit of measure of Parody. It requires a player to perfectly encompass Parity in their play, such that they are awarded at least one (1) in each statistic for a week. This includes:

• Goal
• Assist
• Second Assist
• Defense
• Throw
• Catch
• Throw Away
• Thrown Drop
• Drop

To be awarded a Berry, one must be a pecular (but very Parity) mix of great and terrible all at once.

Owen Lumley has proposed a new Berry, a Full Berry, where one must also have a Callahan, a Pull and have at least 1 of the 3rd, 4th and 5th assists that the app tracks. These are the so-called "hidden" stats that we have data on but do not publish on the Parity app's web interface, because it's a lot of clutter and noise.

I move to strike this motion from proceedings, as the so-called "Full Berry" should be named after:

• The first person to be awarded the feat;
• The first person to be awarded the feat, after it has been proposed that such a feat has significance.

Of note, the S. Berry has been done before, but the first person to note its potential significance was Simon Berry, and he did so on a week where he earned one, thus the naming of the statistic.

As such, we can look through past numbers to see if it has been done before (unlikely) and award it, or eagerly await the day where someone earns the naming rights to such a coveted statistical achievement. Until such time I believe this (potential) statistic should remain nameless until rightfully claimed.

It's a bit like the Sword in the Stone. I am sure that in due time a worthy candidate will step forward to claim this prize.

EDIT: I think it's important to note that calling it a Full Berry doesn't even make sense. He's incapable of catching his D's and will never score a Callahan, and no one in their right mind will let him pull. It's a stat beyond reach for Simon Berry!

Two people (Berry and Bisang) have achieved Berry on 9 completions and Hadrian's double on 19 completions.

The standout is Maya who did it with just 4 completions!

The player closest to 1 decaberry is Tervor Ryan who needs 3 more thrown drops and 4 more drops (doable). Given play time and league statistics, we can also calculate how many Berrys the league generates over time as measured in kBh.

EDIT: my B, Hadrian can drop it 4 times over the last 2 games to rack up 1 decaberry, which is a much smaller hill to climb than Trevor Ryan.

I think I found the best way to summarize it: An S.Berry is a bit like self-congratulatory slapstick comedy. You need to cut well, score, move the frisbee and play good D. But you also need to barf the disk all over the field. Most importantly, you have to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

...which means that this thread encompasses all that is good and terrible in Parity forum posts: a witty intro, a compliment to at least one specific player, backed up by stats, digs deeper for more supportive stats, too many stats so eyes begin to glaze over, references to former posts in order to understand what is being mocked, and crossing the line in heckling of a player(s). So, yes, this would be a Thread Berry. The Full Thread Berry would include an algorithm suggested in order to preserve the integrity of the analysis, most likely proposed by Owen coz that guy wants all the berries.

Doesn't Justine call that sullying oneself?  I could be wrong.

Let it be on the record that I pulled a Craig Anderson this week by running a bearkly cut for a point :-p