Keeping Parity Great : Ignoring the Haters.

Submitted by Christopher Keates on Wed, 2017-04-19 11:09

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Haters are everywhere, and if you want to be the best Parity you can be, you have to ignore them and focus on the moment. Look forward, and seize the opportunities before you. It's playoffs, people, and your GMs demand the most out of you! Keep your eyes on that prize, and ignore the sidelines heckling!
 
 
Focus up, seize the opportunity! Complete the survey! It will help make the parity party better. Seriously, go do it. I have 17 responses from well over 100 parity participants this season. If you're not in the league, fill it out! If you volunteer every week and don't play, fill it out. God, people. Don't make me whine about sample size.
 
In other, much less important than my survey news, who did Parity the best this week? Let's find out.
 
Callahans: Scott Higgins, on the back of a 1/6/3/5 performance with "only" 3 throw aways (being the better Keates, there are higher standards here!), Higgins decided to end his game in spectacular fashion - with a Callahan.
 
Owen Lumley, not to be outdone, put up a 3/5/3/4 performance with 1 of everything else, but also ended his game with a Callahan! I think this is Owen making claim to being the better Higgins (Which makes him the better-better Keates? Is that how this works? Are Highlander rules in place in Parity?).
 
Jason Fraser (and others) could be talked about in the same breath as these parity titans, but to do this you need to catch your Ds.
 
Speaking of....
 
Catch Your Ds: Owen and Jon Rowe both failed to catch their Ds this week, macking goals straight to Chown and Spearin because they haven't yet learned to catch their Ds. Maybe next week!
 
Trevors: The two Trevors combined for $79,500 dollars. One Trevor was 3/1/3/0 with 5 throw aways, 1 throw drop, and 4 drops for $51,500. The other was 2/0/0/0 and perfect for $28,000. A starker contrast between two Trevors could not be drawn.
 
So if you are a GM in the playoffs, which is the better Trevor? Do you want 10 turnovers or perfection? I report, you decide!
 
Easter Scare: Soccer players are weak! They skip soccer on Easter Monday because, I don't know, they aren't dedicated or something. Parity, though. Parity rolls on! Except a bunch of people were worried it didn't. Before the 7:00 pm game rumor has it that one particular parity keener (Jon Rowe) showed up to an empty dome and was worried he didn't get the cancellation memo. The next few parity players to straggle in also had the same concerns.
 
Don't worry, guys! Parity stops for no Holiday. Except Christmas. And New Years. And any others that actually close down the dome. Also, catastrophic dome failure and power outages. But nothing else!
 
Cake of Sadness: In the 8:20 game, the third point was another delicious, sad cake! I count 11 changes of possession, 2 drops, 9 throw aways (4 by Michael O'Hare! Mike! What are you doing?!). Goal scorer (and mercy granter) Ashlin Kelly had a goal, a D, a drop all in the same point, which is remarkable.
 
I love it when parity bakes cakes!
 
Multiple Personality Disorder: Fred Caron is positively batty, is something I'm sure Heather McCabe would agree with. But she might have a point. As a sub this week he was 5/4/2/0 with about 30 touches (21 catches) with only 1 throw away. For his own team he was 0/3/0/1 on about 20 touches (8 catches) with 3 throw aways.
 
For the season, Fred is 7/12/3/1 with 39 catches, 49 completions, 1 throw away and 1 drop as a sub. As a regular player, he is 3/29/25/18 on 157 catches, 240 completions, 37 throw aways and 2 drops. Basically, if you need a sub, ask Fred. But come draft day next year ....
 
Simon Berry Watch: Simon Berry this week went 5/1/1/3. Late in his game I hit him in the bread basket for goal #6 but he dropped it! "Someone needs to pass it to me so I can throw it away now! I need to get a Berry!" As luck or fate would have it, we got the disk back and Simon was wide open on an under cut. He catches the disk, turns up field and... promptly throws it away. I think it was almost on purpose!
 
Sadly he did not earn an S.Berry this week, as he had no thrown drops, missing out on one of the statistical columns necessary for the coveted S.Berry.
 
But who did get an S.Berry? Hadrian had a remarkable double Berry (2 in every column!). Owen and Spearin had a Berry. Brent Burton almost had a perfect Berry (1/1/1/1 with 1/2/1 throw away/thrown drop/drop). That's berry good, you guys. Berrilicious.
 
Many apologies for the shortened post this week, but I'm working on limited time. Let's talk a bit about great performances, before we look ahead to next week!
 
THIS WEEK'S FINEST:
  • Wynne Gee is a junior playing with a bunch of adults and making us all look bad. 1/2/4/0 with 39 completions and only 2 throw aways, taking on the role of primary disk mover in the absence of Amos and Paula.
  • Geofford racked up dollars in a 1/5/3/4 game with all of 2 throw aways.
  • Sandra put up 2 D's, one of which a hand block!
  • Andrea Proulx toe-tapped her way to 3 goals as a sub, and 3 in her normal game.
  • Rachel had 6 (!!!) goals, on only 14 catches. Nina Ramic had 5, on only 16 catches, same as Michelle Warren. You ladies are efficient!
  • Pindur quietly put up an 0/4/3/2 game with almost no throw aways.
Special thanks to Jon Rowe for highlights and inspiration, and Wowzers for motivating me to add Simon Berry on facebook, creeper a picture of him, then pass it through a .jpeg to ascii converter just to make a joke.

Simon Berry

Wed, 2017-04-19 12:12

That's a recap I needed, that we needed. Also there are a lot of pictures to choose from I hope you got a good one, with matching greatness of a joke or I will be sad

Tom Newman

Wed, 2017-04-19 12:48

Maybe it was because it was against your team, but Donahue, fighting strep throat made a very respectable "greatest" caught by Al Colantonie, who promptly noted quite loudly "I achieved a greatest!!!!!" followed by a moment of contemplation and then a much quieter "Well, I was involved in a greatest" 

Simon Berry

Wed, 2017-04-19 13:07

That was impressive for sure

Tom Newman

Wed, 2017-04-19 12:49

* Colantonio

Justine Price

Wed, 2017-04-19 13:12

I was on the sideline for this and wish I had video footage of my husband's face as he saw Mark leap, catch and throw the disc back into the field and then, good god, the throw going beautifully flat and to the centre of the field towards two possible recievers, one of whom Sul was, until seconds ago, defending. Sul turned with all the agility and grace of a 48 year old guy who can't touch his toes, with face agog. He waved his long arm out but Al neatly went up and got the disc. Donoghue, that was amazeballs! Second best greatest for point I've seen, and the prettiest.

Matt McCalla

Thu, 2017-04-20 12:39

Justine, now I want to hear about the best greatest you've seen.

Justine Price

Thu, 2017-04-20 18:58

Guy did full lay out, out the back of the endzone, leaving from just within bounds. Catches disc at full extension, throws it back over his head. It flies flat and true into the hands of reciever running onto it behind him. Ka. Boom. 

Alex Bush

Fri, 2017-04-21 10:06

Was it the greatest Greatest?

Hadrian Mertins-Kirkwood's picture

Hadrian Mertins...

Wed, 2017-04-19 16:12

All of this adulation for the Double Berry is taking some of the sting away from my 8 turnovers. Hooray for Parody!

Christopher Keates

Wed, 2017-04-19 17:05

You only needed 6 for the double Berry. Overdoing it, aren't you?