Parity League Fantasy League

Nine brave souls and Amos embarked on an adventure Tuesday morning. They decided that they would play Fantasy Frisbee in a league that assigns fantasy moneys to your frisbee skills. With no money on the line and absolutely nothing at stake here, who will come out on top? If you were drafted, do your owners proud and score lots of points or, better yet, frustrate them with horrible decision making, bad plays and general ennui. If you weren't drafted, you can still get picked up mid-season! Play hard and earn a coveted PLFL spot!

THE PLAYERS:

Amos Lee aka The Blurst Lee - A foolish errand boy who's hair falls second to only the legendary Hadrian Mertins-Kirkwood. Amos managed to rig the draft and pick first. With disregard, he chose Greg Ellis and immediately tried to trade him for any one else. Once that failed, he tried to draft every Ellis in the league with mixed results. He settled on drafting Newman just so he could trade him at a future date.

Team Lamos:

Greg Ellis

Brian Perry

Lauren Ellis

Laura Chambers Storey

Tom Newman

Shubho Bo Biswas

Jon Rowe aka The Handsome One - Good looks aren't all that's working for this wonderful man, he also sneaked in at #2 on the drafting chart choosing Scott Higgins, the highest paid player in 2017. Will the Kanata/Stittsville McDonald's manager continue to impress again this year, or will his notorious love of McChickens catch up to him only to see his stock plummet? Only time will tell!

Rowe-ing Team:

Scott Higgins

Kevin Barford

Susan Sunde

Frederic Caron

Angela "It's Mueller Time" Mueller

Nick Klimowicz

Geofford Seaborn aka "Geofford" - The saltiest member of the PLFL, Geofford was quick to point out that Al Colantonio, Jon Pindur, and Jim Robinson were omitted from the original draft list. He tried to use this tiny error to gain an advantage late in the draft and choose Al Colantonio as his second last pick. Fortunately for the rest of us, Al Colantonio is not a very good player, so this strategy will not work out for Geofford! Back to the salt mines!

Team Red Beard:

Christopher Keates

Michael Colantonio

Andrea Proulx

Jon Rowe

Tim Kealey

Shari Ross

Al Colantonio aka The Forgotten One - Al's ability to be overlooked has done him wonders in both his frisbee career, his romantic life, and his PLFL drafting. His tried and true strategy of sneakily wooing people with his let's say italian? charm worked on Kinda and it worked in the draft. With his fourth over-all he chose former 2-time CUC MVP Chris Sullivan who was some how skipped over at picks 1, 2, and 3! While this strategy may work out in terms of winning the league, it definitely won't work out at home, as rumours have it, Miles is upset that he was not the #1 choice.

Team Colonnier:

Chris Sullivan

Ryan Briggs

Kristie Ellis

Andrew Spearin

Kelsey Charie

An Tran

Laura Chambers Storey aka "Dad" - Laura's powerhouse picks of Hadrian Mertins-Kirkwood, Travis Davidson, and Justine Price mean that every week will be a Pantene Pro-V commercial in excellent use of hair products. Laura is hoping that these three Farrah Fawcett wannabes will be worth at least 2-3 extra parity league fantasy league points. Should that not work out, at least she can get quality hair care tips (hint: they followed Steve Harrington's advice). 

Team Hair:

Hadrian Mertins-Kirkwood

Travis Davidson

Justine Price

Nick Amlin

Kate Achtell

Mehmet Karman

(P.S. These jokes are signficantly less funny (or maybe more funny?) if Pirate cut his hair)

Alex Bush aka The American - Coordinator, genius, generally good looking. There aren't enough adjectives to describe this Adonis and titan of Frisbee. Using the same towering intellect that birthed the idea of Parity League Fantasy League, my draft was calculated and erudite. Choosing top male and female players guarantee me a Season 1 Championship. Is it unfair to my opponents? Yes. But is it also unfair to race against Usain Bolt? To swim against Michael Phelps? To Tennis against Serena Williams? It's ok to lose to the best.

Team Ego:

John Haig

Will Leckie

Heather Wallace

Brian Kells

Dan Thomson

Melissa Jess

Mike Lee - aka The Mediocrest Lee - While sitting on his couch deciding what to do with his winter, Mike figured that he would take up painting. He drove down to the Michael's in Centrepoint and bought a bunch of paintbrushes, canvases, easels, and paints. He took the supplies home to his newly renovated art studio, sat down for 72 straight hours painting to create the greatest masterpiece since Michaelangelo's David. Although glorious, Mike knew that this painting could never see the light of day. It would end world hunger, solve the Middle East Crisis and even calm Donald Trump's tweets. Mike knew that the world was not yet ready for this painting, so he immediately trashed it and drafted this mediocre PFLF roster instead.

Team Mediocre:

Adam Macdonald

David Townsend

Alisha Zhao

Geofford Seaborn

Stephanie Verbit

Jeff Hunt

Christopher Keates aka Colonel Freddy Mercury Mustard - What would happen if Freddie Mercury dressed up as Colonel Mustard for Halloween? The answer may surprise you! https://imgur.com/a/lxD34

Team Boheme:

Michael Davidson

Marcus Bordbaggage

Josee Guibord

Nicholas Aghajanian

Katherine Matheson

Jason Fraser

Tom Newman aka "Klimy" aka "We're waiting" - Tom takes the award for slowest draft, only making his choices between meetings with "clients." What is he meeting for? Who are these clients? What clandestine operation is Newman running? Why does he have two names if he's really only one person? Who's he hiding from? What is he hiding? Does he have the answers to all these questions? Will Amos trade him? Who's on his roster? Why did he pick them? What's in it for Tom? What's in it for me? When will the questions end? What's for lunch? Who's there? Where is this going?

Team W5? 

Martin Cloake

Kevin Hughes

Jessie Robinson

Craig "Vezina" Anderson

Matthew Schiakdsauhg;kjahg Sorry I sneezed while typing

Cassie Berquist

Christopher Castonguay aka Christopher Castongreat - Known for his love of acronyms, CC, ED, MD, PHD always chose two players at once. He opted for the dynamic duo of DR and HD as his first two picks but we will never know who was #1 who was #2. He ended each round with other great pairs JW/AG, and SC/PK. Can you deduce who these players are? 

Team Acronym

DR

HD

JW

AG

SC

PK

Good luck!