Keeping Parity Great: This Is Really Hard After 20 Weeks

Submitted by Christopher Keates on Wed, 2017-04-12 11:33

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Parity League

Week 21 is in the books! Fun fact: this time last year Parity was over. We blessed few get a few more weeks of this most enjoyable, chaotic milieu. Playoffs are here, and we have 3 more games! We should count ourselves lucky.

Speaking of lucky, did you know that Katy Parity won a game this week? But was it luck...? let's find out:

Spiritual Journeys: Hadrian went outside the box trying to motivate his roster this week. Katy Parity is a strong team that just hasn't been able to put together the results we expect. Feeling maybe a bit lost and aimless, he went on a vision quest, seeking direction. While chasing down a bus in the morning (probably leaving to a monastery for meditation and inner reflection), a gust of wind blew his hat off. Instinctively, almost reflexively, he swung his arm behind him and blindly snatched the hat from the air. It was a sign! In that moment, Hadrian knew that Parity was within him all along.

Excitedly, he recounted this story to his team in the pre-game huddle. Bright eyed and inspired, his words sought to re-kindle the Parity spirit in Katy Parity, but weeks of losing had beaten the team down. He was met with lifeless eyes and skeptic looks. But Hadrian could not be denied, and early in the game he had a chance to show his team the truth of his words. On a full-body layout, he catches the disk! His hat flies off! With his free hand, he snatches his hat from the air, just as he had recounted in his story! The signs were true!

With this play, I believe Hadrian helped his team re-discover the spirit of Parity both on and off the field. It was a touching moment, and by the end of the game with a win securely in hand, Kindha was almost moved to tears.

Gravitational Journeys: On the somewhat less moving side of that game, Jeff Hunt seems to have forgotten how a parking brake works. In a Parity first, a player had to be pulled from the game to deal with a driverless car accident. Apparently his car rolled into a soccer mom's van in the parking lot while he was playing. Remember folks: use that parking brake! It helps your car check itself before it wrecks itself.

Parity Guests: Long time TUC Parity alumni and former Ottawa frisbee fanatic Genevieve Daigle (G-Star) was in town and Rob Ives graciously invited her to play. The following very Parity things happened.

"Please can I be in the write up?!"
During the pre-game warm up, Brent told her to go deep. G-Star ran deep. Brent flicked it kind of not that deep. "You call that deep?" Quoth the sideline, "that's what she said!"
Bids for dayz! 3 goals in the game, and I think she had to hit turf for all of them.

G then drove back to Toronto despite turf burn for a brief convalescence before her own Parity game on Wednesday(also a late time slot) in what may be another Parity first: a double header of late games in different leagues.

No, your salary doesn't carry over.

Offensive Systems: Rob Ives sent me a drawing of our offensive system this week. Geofford Seaborn sent me a picture of what our cutters would look like if they had clear cutting lanes to tiptoe through. These pictures were the most factual things I've seen all week.

Seb's Sadness: Sebastien Belanger almost always sends me a really excited email about awesome things that happened, but this week, and I quote:

Funny thing happened this week, we lost really, really bad and I have no funny stories to tell you... It's almost like I'm a poor loser or something.

Let's take the glass half-full angle and say you're a good winner, Seb! Maybe you will be less sad next week.

SEASON LEADERBOARD WATCH OF SADNESS AND DESPAIR

THROWAWAYS: Sina is still tops with 35 but Fred is making a push for first and sits at 34.

DROPS: We have a three-way tie at 8 between KQ, Bisang and Rachel! Who will win?! The next 7 on the top 10 are all within 2, so it's arguably still anyone's game!

WEEKLY GREAT STATS

The S.Berry: The Parity Cycle, or a Simon Berry (metric unit of measure of Parity Cycle is S.Berry) made its debut this week. A reminder: An S.Berry is a 1 in every statistical column. This is actually not easy to do and requires a special mix of great and terrible play to achieve. So of course Al Colantonio had one. So did Newman, Spearin, McKelvey, Justine, and Bisang.

GOALS: Ashlin and Martin top the week (again), but Carrie-Anne is next up with 5! Soon-to-be-Dad-Bod David Townsend also had 5! Megan Robb, Darlene, An Tran, Michelle Warren and Stacey Wowchuk put up 4 (you ladies are killin' it).

DIMES: Higgins and Close put up 7! Rowe and Geofford put up 5! The Justine and Sully household put up 10 (5 each)! Sina and McKelvey both put up 4 to match their 4 throw aways because they like symmetry! Trevor Ryan had 4 but 5 throwaways because he doesn't play by anyone's rules and hates symmetry. Very Useful Mathew "Skynes" Schijns had 4 with only 1 throwaway because he's awesome.

Ds: Jon Pindur and Al Colantonio both had 5 this week, because people throw at the wrong team a lot (why do you guys do that?). Surprising everyone, Jay "Pylon" Thor had 3. So did Sonny Kim!

MISC.

The closest to a triple triple this week is Krys Kudakiewicz, who was shy 1 goal. Jay "Pylon" Thor was 1 G and 1 A away, and Hadrian needed another D.
In 2 games, Kirsten had 6 D's.
In 2 games, Proulx had 8 assists because apparently she handles now?!
On 29 throws, Patrick Kenzie was perfect. The only throwaway to his name belongs to someone who dropped it. Not to name names but it was Graham Brown.
Kindha went for 26 completions and only 2 throwaways. Disc mover, and winner (this week).
Thuc had two sprained ankles, a bid for a D called back on a foul call, and 0 D's this week, furthering his narrative that D (and by extension, he) is undervalued.
Laura Storey gets a shoutout for being statistically perfect. 2/2/2/1 and zero bad things (because she's awesome). Other perfect people: Taka, Beals, Knowles, Cloake, Darlene, Townsend, Fraser.

Jon Rowe

Wed, 2017-04-12 13:29

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Keeping Parity Great: This Is Really Hard After 20 Weeks

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