Best Other Category I Didn't Think Of (click if you like Keates)

Submitted by Chris Tran on Wed, 2017-04-19 17:48

Forums:

Are you inspired by Christopher Keates's weekly Parity summary posts?
Do you think he is deserving of a Parity Party award?
Has it occurred to you that he would never accept such an award since he is so gosh-darn humble?
Would you still nonetheless try to award Keates for his efforts using the Parity Survey of his own creation?

Well, look no further!
For only one easy parity payment of $1,000, I have the catch for you.
D not throw away this opportunity and assist me in my goal of recognizing Keates.

For the "Best Other Category I Didn't Think Of", I propose the following category:

  • Best Forum Spelling and Grammar.

That definitely goes to Keates.  For those keeping track at home, he averages ~1340 words per weekly recap post, with his only typo in the past 10 weeks being "scorebored", arguably because he was simply bored at keeping score.  That puts him at an impeccable 99.992% accuracy rate.  Just as worthy, he has managed to spell Klimowicz correctly 100% of the time, Aghajanian correctly 100% of the time, and distinguished the name Stacey from Stacy 100% of the time when mentioning Stacey Wowsers, who is indeed avec e.

That's right!  Not only is he so good at making sure every Parity player is recognized through stats (if not shenanigans), he ensures that he uses the utmost of grammatical rigour when delivering his information to you, the reader.

Well done.  I do not see anyone better deserving of this award.  Congratulations!

P.S. Keates, I have hidden three errors in this post.  Can you find them all?

Alessandro Cola...

Wed, 2017-04-19 18:58

Three errors:

  • Scorebored was an intentional joke. This is Parody/Parity, where we play by Who's Line Is It Anyway rules.
  • Every time he writes "disk" instead of "disc". It may not directly go against the AP or Chicago Style guides, but it sure rustles my jimmies.
  • He's sure as shit gonna get some recognition at the party from this guy. 

Christopher Keates

Wed, 2017-04-19 20:01

The three errors are as follows:

  • "D not" -> "Do not";
  • I actually make several typos and average ~8 edits after clicking save to correct them, but being the busy doctor you are, you only see the final polished product and not the initial error riddled one;
  • I am very much not humble.

As a rebuttal to Al, I will note that the AP Styleguide actually has rules on word choice, and this blog post totally makes an argument that is beneficial to my position so I will also link to it. Of note, that last article talks about the popularity of the words over time. It seems Al's preferences for disc track with his general tendency to be trapped in the mid 80's when it peaked, as well as his tendency to be both subversive and underground. In a few years when the word disc has all but died, he will be on a street corner selling frisbees with a sign that reads "For Sale, Discs - But You Probably Haven't Heard of Them."

Alessandro Cola...

Wed, 2017-04-19 20:13

I consulted that same blog post in researching my post. I figured, since I write favour and neighbour, I should write disc.

I will certainly be writing it that way when I try to hawk my artisanal, limited edition flying Pluto Platters.

Hadrian Mertins-Kirkwood's picture

Hadrian Mertins...

Thu, 2017-04-20 09:53

Nothing grinds my gears more than Keates writing "disk" but I choke it down anyway because the rest of his posts are so doggone likeable.

Steve Bisang

Fri, 2017-04-21 15:18

Keates will staunchly defend the awesomeness and non-travelosity of his high-release breaks to the death... or at least to the point of retaliatory name-calling.

Christopher Keates

Fri, 2017-04-21 15:40

Seriously, the errata on XVI.A, the very first clause covering your responsibility when making a call, reads:

The player must know that a specific rule was violated and have perceived the particular action with certainty. A player may not call an infraction whenever the player maybe recognizes that some infraction might have occurred.

To make the travel call you need to see both the time my foot moves (if it does) and when the disk leaves my hands. You cannot do this do when you are regularly within diskspace marking me and when I am throwing above the top of your head,  because you do not have the eyes of a chameleon (if you did you'd catch better).

Zing.

Amos Lee

Mon, 2017-04-24 02:27

Pretty sure he spelled An's name as Anne once. He probably still gets the award but it's my job to point out his flaws.

Sina Dee

Tue, 2017-04-25 12:17

We don't know that An isn't short for Anne.  Heck An could be short for Annabella, or Anne... Or Annie, Anthony, Antonio, Antoine, Andrew, Angela, Andrea...

So maybe Anne is right.