Parity Recap: Semis, Fivals, and Finals

Sometimes life happens and it makes it hard for me to recap playoffs which are also happening. For this, I must beg forgiveness. But, let’s be honest. It’s playoffs! Why weren’t you at the dome taking in every second of exciting frisbee!?

Semis

The story of both semi-final games was injuries and absences. Missing and hurt players made the difference for both rosters. Let’s look a bit more.

Menace (1) vs. Huck and Hope (4): Heading into this game, Menace was a bit depleted with its players. 3 guys missing, and a late loss of Lauren Ellis leaving them short rostered. Huck and Hope was down Angela Mueller and Jay Thor both from an injury. Huck hadn’t been able to beat Menace all season (two previous meetings).

The first half of this game was a back-and forth affair, each team trading a break early, with a few more breaks in the first half. The score remained tight all the way to 11-10 for Huck before they put up a small lead with a score and a break to take half 13-10. Starting on O in the second half, Huck went score and break again to open up a 5 point lead. The rest of the game was a back-and-forth affair with Huck taking the win in a relatively high scoring game, with a final score of 23-18.

Notable performances in this game, Craig “Vezina” Anderson and Owen 2.0 for Menace, putting up 2/6/3/1 and 5/3/3/2 and zero throw aways between them (and both earning a star of the week for it). Andre Scott (2/1/4/1 and no throw aways) and David Townsend (3/2/3/1 and no turns) were stalwarts for the Handler Academy.

The difference may have been a few too many teachable moments. Richard Gregory and Mehmet combined for 12 throw aways in the game, with Rich having 8 on his own (a very uncharacteristic day for him).

Sultimate Fight Club (6) vs. 2,4,6,8 (7): Rumour has it Higgins was hurt going into this game from a rolled ankle suffered the week before. He’s still a dominant player, but maybe he was off a step. Laura Storey was missing for Sultimate, having a bruised knee, a big blow to Sully’s team and its chemistry. No matter, this game was a nail biter. Much like the fantastic Huck v. Stack game from the quarters, this game was frequently tied, had a lot of lead changes, and was mostly a 1 point game throughout.

I didn’t catch much of the first half of the game but the sideline was tense when I walked over just after the 9:40 game finished up. It was a tight, intense game, and teams were in it to win it. 2,4,6,8 was down 3 late in the game and then went on to score 3 in a row on the back of two breaks to tie it. Offense held for the next 6 points, and when the sideline called timecap the score was tied. It was going to universe, and Sultimate had the ball. Could they convert just one more time to win it?

A savvy throw from Sully moved the ball much of the way down the field, and he collected a quick dish from Liam. Martin was streaking to the corner, Sully floated it up! Would it stay in? Could the world’s tallest man collect it? Would Lance be able to make a play on the disk, trailing Martin by half a step?

Martin leaps, stretches, and grabs it inches from Lance’s fingertips, and drags his back leg to stay in. Goal! And game, the lowest scoring, tensest game of the night, 16-15.

Standouts in this game for Sultimate: Sully, willing his team to a win with a 2/4/4/2 game and but 1 throw away on 30 completions; Ken Maclean, normally an endzone target putting up 0/6/1/0 but those 6 assists came on all of 9 attempts. 2,4,6,8’s heroes, 3 catch/3 goal ol’ reliable Kristyn Berquist, and the bearded viking, Adam MacDonald putting up 0/2/4/1 and zero turns.

Fivals

Fivals, the storied 5th place title we all hope to achieve in parity. Never too good, never too bad, always in the middle. Fivals is perfect parity, and usually wins a better prize (in this case, pretty sure it was beer).

The Sticklers (2) vs. Stack Over Flow (5)

I caught very little of this game but I’m looking at the numbers and it looks like it was a close game until half. Sticklers were down 12-13, and then Stack Over Flow scored 7 of the next 8 to open up a gap that never really closed. After trading away Nick Theriault it looks like whatever magic sauce that made The Sticklers tick was gone, and the turnovers everyone predicted they’d have showed up in spades. Someone remarked, “Live by the Pindur, die by the Pindur” when asked about the change in fortunes, but seeing the outcomes I honestly think it was more like “Live by the Theriault, Die Without.” A final score of 24-19 for Stack Over Flow.

This was a game of remarkable performances, however. Stack Over Flow had a few standouts. Andrew Spearin had a 2/6/5/0 night with 55 completions and only 3 throw aways. Hannah Dawesome was 3/8/3/1 with zero turns on 28 completions. Rachel Ng had 5 goals. Pindur played some very high event frisbee and was a 1/6/2/1 on 16 attempts, with 3 throw aways. Jon Rowe looked similar with 4/1/3/1 on 15. Wowzers had 4 goals, and Andrea was a 4/3/2/0 for the night, but also had 5 throw aways. One of the more interesting statlines of the night was Geofford, with a berry.

Finals

Finals is for the try-hards. In many ways it's an honour, but in many other ways it's a mark of shame. Sure, you can drink alcohol free champagne from a trophy, but you're also taking indoor league frisbee way too seriously.

Huck and Hope (4) vs. Sultimate Fight Club (6): Playing in this game was an interesting experience. The game started out a bit slow with some long points to start the game, and Huck went down 3-5 early in the match. We then scored 18 of the next 19 points, with a 10 point run coming out of half to put up a 21-6 lead. All in all, it was a very anti-climatic final.

The 26-10 final is not reflective of the quality of the player on Sultimate Fight Club, and speaks more to a collective “bad game” from everyone on the roster, all on the same day. To illustrate just how completely bizarre the game was, I’m going to highlight someone. Disclaimer: he’s a good player and he has been efficient and safe with the frisbee all season, with few turns of any kind despite and incredibly high number of touches. After 11 weeks, Sebastien Belanger had 1 drop on 141 targets. After week 12, he had 4 on 161. In a single game he quadrupled the number of drops he had the entire rest of the season (Seb, it brings me no joy to bring this up but it does speak to just how out-of-the-ordinary that game was, you’ve played great all year <3).

And that was just the sort of game it was. Statistical highlights from the game include Sully who was still pretty good, plus he had probably his first (and last ever) Berry! For Huck, Kristie had a monster of a game with 2/8/7/0 and only 1 turn on 36 attempts for a ridiculous $216,000, Alisha had a 3/6/3/1 game with a single throw away (and a dropped scoober!), and Susan Sunde put up a 5/0/4/0 game. Girl power!

On an aside, Seb likes to call Sully the Tom Brady of frisbee because he just seems to win. I think this makes me Nick Foles?

Leaderboards

Goals: Martin and Alisha take the crowns with 46 and 41 respectively. Jim Robinson is up there again (37) and in her first season of Parity Kate gets 38.

Assists: Higgins and Justine get 51 and 49 to lead this category. A remarkable 47 in all of 136 completions for Pindur, an assist rate per attempt nobody else really comes close to.

D’s: Kelsey and Hannah Dawesome put up 30 and 25 to dominate this category. Not far off, Owen 2.0 whose 23 puts him 1 shy of the 2 per game he needed to earn his real name back. Jessie continues to get those turns, on the leaderboard for this category again. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Throw Aways: Except for throw aways, and we have a problem. Mehmet and Theriault are tied at 46. Week 11 Theriault took a 1 throw away lead, and all Mehmet had to do was get as many of fewer than Theriault this week. Instead he pipped him by 1, creating a problem. I can’t award this to both of you! So the tie break is over-all turnovers. Mehmet’s 56 is more than Nick’s 55, so the winners are:

Mehmet (46) and Jessie (37).

Drops: We have another problem. CA Whyte, Jaime Boss, Marcus Bordage and Marie-Ange Gravel all have 11. I need another tie-break, and in this case Marcus’s own words damn him.

Asked at the dome what was going on, he told me, “Most of my drops are on bail throws where I turn up field to make the next throw before I’ve secured the disk.”

For this reason, Borbaggage, your inattention to fundamentals have earned you official recognition for having the hands of a baggage handler.

Stats Keeping: This is an easy one. Alison Ward, the woman responsible for the herding of cats and organizing of stats keeping is the hero of the category and this league. If you ever see a short-ish ginger on the sideline holding a tablet, go say hello, introduce yourself, and thank her for making this league happen.

Other Stuff That Happened

Cartwheels: Jay Thor, in the finals, caught a disk while doing a cart wheel and everyone lost their minds. Ask him to demonstrate how it happened, he couldn’t recreate that body contortion act if he tried. Hell, I bet if it was on film he could never repeat the performance if he slowed it down and followed along at home.

Newman Scores A Callahan: Rumour has it Theriault tried to play catch with Tom Newman in the middle of the game, only Newman was a.) in the endzone and b.) on the other team. Theriault is absolutely forlorn, and doesn’t even know where to throw it now that he’s off of the Sticklers. Newman’s week was also solid with 5/2/2/3 and a paltry $154,500 for the week. Any other week, that would be top 5. This week it’s good for 9th. More on that below….

Sully Watch: With the first session over, I can confirm: Sully is solidly on the assists leaderboard, and nowhere to be seen on the throwaways leaderboard! Everything is right with the world!

PLFL

The parity league fantasy league’s inaugural season’s championships were head podcaster Geofford facing off against the number 1 troll, Amos. Amos rostered Newman, Perry, Laura Storey and Seb facing off against Geofford’s Aggy, Sherri, Jon Rowe and Keates.

Final score? Amos with 66.9 fantasy points, Geofford with 65.6. Amos left over 20 points on the bench, and Geofford a mere 9. However, the real troll of it all is that Alisha Zhao came in to play here. Based on the rosters actually dressed, if Alisha hadn’t dropped the scoober I threw her, Amos loses. Now, we’ve been over this before, Alisha never drops scoobers. 98% of what she catches in indoor is upside down, and she rarely drops them with one hand let alone the two she got full on the disk.

I can only assume she turfed this on purpose to screw Geofford. Well played, and all of PLFL approves.

Other Highlights of Weeks 11 and 12

• Berry Watch! Week 11: Pindur. Week 12: Brian Perry (S), Sully, Geofford, Jeff Hunt

• Marcus had 4/2/2/2 (and a drop) in week 11.

• Patrick Kenzie had a 4/1/1/4 week 11, with those 4 D’s tieing for the week.

• Thomas Sattolo’s week 11 also had 4 D’s! Massive.

• Heather Wallace had a 3/2/1/0 mathematically progressive week 11.

• Liam Parker’s week 11 was a quietly perfect 2/1/1/0 and zero turns.

• David O’Connor’s week 11 was 1/1/1/1 on 11 catches.

• Tim Kealey scored week 11! Finally!

• Hope Celani’s and Neena’s week 11 were both perfect, zero turns with 0/1/1/1 and 1/0/0/1 respectively.

• Josee Guibord’s 6/6/3/3 week 12 was triple triple territory and, remarkably, only the second most money of the week at $212,000 (3 players broke $200k, Kristie, Josee and Andrew Spearin).

• Brian Perry’s week 3 of 3/4/3/3 was also a triple double.

• Kenzie had back to back great weeks and flirted with a triple double, putting up 2/5/3/4.

• Nick Theriault settled into his team, halving his weekly throw aways in the final week of the session, only putting up 4. His week was also solid with 1/5/2/4.

• Mehmet’s 2/2/7/1 week 12 was arguably his best of the season.

• Verbit’s 0/5/3/0 week 12 was stellar and almost mistake free.

• Rich Gregory returned to form week 12, 2/3/3/0 and lots of touches.

• Jason Fraser got into form with a 2/4/0/1 game in week 12.

• Wowzers was just, wow! 4/2/0/1 in the final week.

• Neena had 3 goals in the final week!

And that’s it. That’s the first session. Thanks as always to our immortal stats keepers without whom this league would not function. We all owe you an enormous debt of gratitude.

As always, please send me anecdotes. Make my life easier! It helps me be funny and entertaining, two things that I struggle with every day of my life.