Parity Awards (Nov 19th)

In absence of Keates’ weekly recaps I put together a few awards for this past Monday. Feel free to add any of your own in the comments.

Up first we have:

The Don’t Listen to the Sideline Award: Goes to Ryan “The Kid” Wallace for listening to Al "The Better Alessandro" Colantonio's guidance to throw an around break flick for a score. The throw was perfect and effortlessly got to the endzone.. the only thing missing was a receiver.

The One and Only Award: Goes to Allan “The Zo” Godding for nabbing the only Callaghan anyone’s seen in a long time. Zo personally thanked the rest of his team stating it was their defence that helped him win this prestigious award. Geofford also chimed in stating the Callaghan was even better than normal as Keates was not in attendance to witness it.

For the Birds Award: This award goes to Geofford "The Voice in Your Ear" Seaborn who had the best chirp of the night for heckling Adam “The Big Mac" MacDonald by yelling at him that he had the prettiest of throws.. to the ground.

The Fast Hands Award: Morgan “MoHo” Howard had an impressive catch from Dave “The Train” Townsend who decided to unnecessarily laserbeam a hammer to Morgan on a wide open under but put it at least a yard behind Morgan. Morgan pulled off an excellent contorted reach behind move to keep the disc in play.

Speaking of odd throw choices…

The What Was That Throw? Award: Goes to Doug “Poker Visor” Brierley for an upside down backhand to the breakside. It worked quite beautifully so I guess I can’t judge.

The Should’ve Thrown an Upside down Backhand Award: Goes to Brian “Big Oil” Perry for getting handblocked on a scoober by Marcus Bordage! You gotta do more shimmying!

The Hammer Time Award: goes to Renee Gauvin for dropping hammer bombs all night long and padding Katie A's goal stat along the way

The Reverse Whale Award: goes to Seb “The Whale” Belanger who must be trying something new out this session. Or maybe he just had a really bad week. Sorry Seb! You’ll get em next time!!

The Rebound Award: To Craig Anderson (Cranderson?) for coming back from a not so good week to throwing down a huge game this week. He Sixtuppled his Salary! (Seb this could be you! I believe in you!)

Having all the Fun Award: goes to Laura Storey for dancing with the disc while waiting on the statskeepers to start the point (Sorry I’m still learning) only for her to fumble and drop the disc. Good thing the point hadn’t started yet!!

The Wag of the Finger Award: This one goes to Martin “Tallest Man in the World” Cloake who’s skying abilities are unrivaled as he easily roofed our entire squad of dudes this week. Yet fortune was not on his side when he decided to sky one of his own ladies. The parity gods frowned upon him and rewarded his efforts with a big ol' drop. A wag of the finger indeed!

The Receiver Error Award: Eloise “Elo” Cement wins this one as she threw up some of the nicest hucks I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately her team was not on the same page and those hucks landed gently on the turf:(

The Catch Yo D’s Award: goes to Luca “lil pukes” LaFontaine for putting up a huge sky D on Jim “The Other Tall Guy” Robinson only to have to Jim layout and grab the disc.

The Break it Down Now Y’all Award: To Emily “KitKat” Kavanaugh for some epic break throws for scores! It honestly looked like she was throwing through her defender. Teach me your ways!!!

Third Times the Charm Award: Goes to Tom “The Eggman” Newman for his series of unfortunate events. This tale of poor life choices starts with Newman beginning a point with the disc and immediately throwing it to the ground. In his defeat he forgot to cover Wilgen in the endzone and his team was quickly back on Offense. Determined to do better, he put his hand up to stay on and picked the disc back up. Heckling from the sideline could be heard. Something about doing better things… Newman tapped the disc in and threw the exact same throw for yet another incompletion and yet another quick score by the opposing team. I think Newman was subbed out at that point, but I wonder if he would’ve gone for it again if he could have..

The Thank Your Statskeeper Award: Travis “Pirate” Davidson had an awesome greatest attempt that didn’t quite pan out. It could’ve easily been recorded as a drop or maybe even a throwaway but the statskeepers were merciful. Go give them a high five you scurvy dog!

The Carmen Sandiego Award: If anyone knows where Pascal “The Lost Twin” Michaud can be found, please let me know. Actually this award could also be given to Tom “Fergalicious” Ferguson. Neither gent has played a game yet this season!!

That’s all I have for this week. Feel free to add anything you saw that deserves an award! Or let me know if you have a nickname for someone I couldn’t think of one for.