Parity Podcast Episode #303

Chambers. Davidson. Chambers-Davidson.

It's nice that Geofford pulled in a cohost from the fairer sex, as opposed to the UNFAIR and CROOKED commissioner KEATTMAN.

I like the 3:3 concept a lot, but as Geofford's small-sample-disclaimer data indicates, the men need to *effin' throw to the women and get everyone involved in the play (especially so for newer players). Other things to consider: not making chintsy calls against new players like minor inadvertent contact, subtle travels, etc.

Chirping. Long before I was a Parity memer l was a newbie outsider, but good-natured chirping helped me feel involved and accepted to the community right away. It's always going to be a big part of Parity, so... let's collectively up our game and get more going, here on the forums, on Slack #parity-league, and importantly, on the field and sideline.

I'm definitely not the right person to select an All Heckles Team because I'm boring and focus on my own game way too often, but here goes some suggestions anway! Kelsey Charie - Brings the dry humour and elevates sarcasm to a higher plane.Laura Chambers Storey - The best heckle scaler in the league. Appropriately roasts players of all skill levels with a smile on her face.Heather Wallace - This may be based on small sample size and recency bias but she was 100% on simultaneously heckling her own team and her opposition last week.Seb Belanger - In heckling, being the loudest probably does count for something.Geofford Seaborn - The guy runs the podcast for a league in which an oft stated goal is heckling. Obvious Pick. I'm already out of ideas. Time to make an effort to get to know more hecklers out there to compose a more comprehensive list.

But credits go to Hadrian for that list that we (mostly he) came up with. 

I enjoy an esoteric statistical discussion as much as the next Parity nerd, but having Laura on to talk about a range of interesting issues was a real breath of fresh air for the podcast. Keep inviting cool guests!

Also, one of the questions you raised was how to reinvigorate the forum (and whether people are listening to the podcast). There's definitely not enough marketing for many new players to even know these things exist. I bet a lot of people don't even know where to find the stats.

I actually think GMs are best placed to promo this stuff to their teams since most of them send out weekly emails anyway. Maybe the commish could come up with some boilerplate language that GMs could copy-and-paste at the bottom of their team emails that includes links to all of the above?

I'd like to address the elephant in the room (the whale has already been noted). On this week's podcast Laura highlighted that Put a Cork in It is the second team in recent memory to run a zone defence in parity. The first such 'strategy' being employed by Amos Lee, of the tinfoil hat.  Now, in looking at the similarities between these GM's and why they would employ such an unconventional strategy, I am thankful that there are not many.  While Laura is kind, thoughtful, great at frisbee and generally a wonderful person, Amos, well, the best thing people say about Amos, is that he has a wonderful fiancée (offer of free therapy stands Aleks). Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice that there was one glaring common denominator between both of these, zone attempting GM's, namely ME! I was the only player on both rosters at the time of these ‘creative endeavours’.

Now far be it from anyone in parity to draw wild conclusions from limited data…oh…wait, what? Two data points is plenty of conclusion drawing evidence? Ok then!  I’ll just carry on.

Given that I was the only common player between both teams, I cannot help but deduce that such drastic measures were taken in order to a) mitigate any potential liability I may have created for my team by being on the field (sorry), and b) for my own safety and well-being (thank you). Basically, running zone indoors because of me is akin to being that kid who was put way out into deeeeeep left outfield…when playing t-ball…. with five-year old’s…. who can’t hit it past the pitcher’s mound.  Although at least in the outfield you can pick dandelions and look at the cloud animals.

Even the team names prove this point. While most people erroneously concluded that “Put a Cork in It” was a play on the fact that Irish/Angry/Leprechaun Brian O’Callaghan was on the team and is from Ireland, home to the wonderful city of Cork https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cork_(city)  In actuality Put A Cork in It, was a reference to (read the next section as the Sicilian from the Princess Bride) the fact that my wife Angela is Dutch,  and Dutch people come from Holland, and as we all know Holland is known for Dykes, which have stories about stopping leaks, which as everyone knows is…oh forget it, you get the idea.  

Amos, was no less transparent. Naming his team Aimlessly Sullied…seemingly in reference to his name and Sully’s, but in reality, was a reference to how I move around the field on defence (aimlessly) and how my team feels when we get scored on…again (sullied).

Now to those of you who think this is a crazy notion… it is, if you’re Amos, it’s brilliant if you’re Laura.  The reason being, is that the zone works fine if you’ve got the right team of people around who can compensate for my defensive liabilities. As evidenced by Laura’s dominant win 25-16 over Michelle’s team. (some will say it was because of things like Geoffard being injured and being short players, but we all know the truth).  Amos on the other hand, didn’t have the foresight, planning or talent…mainly because he’s not much better than I am on defence and is certainly more terrible at offence, resulting in a trouncing that was so bad we’ve all agreed to try and forget the score (plus it was a long time ago).

Anyway, I guess this is a warning to any future GM’s, trading for me is going to require some creative zone tactics and compensatory players (probably a team with Hadrian, Davidson, Ashlin, Nat, Sully and Justine should just about do it).

NB: I know we are supposed to chirp other players, but I felt this was a public service announcement that needed to be made...also despite all this I still manage to out salary Brian O'Callghan half the time, and parity dollars are the most valid assessment of frisbee ability known to humankind, so there's that to feel good about.